When you let go of everything, then you’ll gain everything…oh the irony

We grow up in a world where we are taught to strive, strive, strive, believing that the more effort we put in, the more we will achieve.

While action is necessary to one's success, it is far far bigger than that.

On social media, there are countless motivational quotes and videos stressing how you need to grind and hustle to become someone. I can tell you, that this is not the case.

Yes on the outside, some of these people live in beautiful mansions, with car collections that'll make Jeremy Clarkson blush, but how do you know that they are truly successful? Or truly happy? What if you don't really want anything?

You see, the ego needs observers. It is in our nature to want to show off and show how great we're doing. That's why social media platforms have become so successful, as they play to our need to "be somebody", and with social media, everyone can, even if that is not really the case.

Unfortunately the average person is pretty unhappy. They are unhappy with their lives, their jobs, the state of the world, the system - and social media has compounded that by giving everyone a platform to show off their "amazing" lives and say "look at Charlie, he's doing so well".

I started a business a few years ago which grew super fast, so fast I couldn't control it. On the outside everything looked great, the company looked like a huge success. In reality I was struggling mentally to hold it together as we were spiralling into crippling debt due to various factors including misappropriations and late payers. I'd spend close to 20 hours a day working on it to fix it, but my efforts were futile. In my heart, I knew that I had swerved so far off my path, I was living a lie. I simply didn't know what to do. My health was getting worse, I was piling on weight, and I couldn't take the anxiety anymore. I was stuck in a prison with no idea how I could escape.

Then Covid-19 hit. Every single client stopped their services with us in the space of just 24 hours. It forced me to close the business (as it was then) and call it a day. While I was initially heartbroken, I felt liberated. This once in a generation global emergency saved me from hell as it forced me to shed what was slowly killing me. So as we went into global lockdowns, I had zero income, and no business. I had actually lost everything, and all the money I had put into the business to make it work.

This gave me the opportunity to start a fresh. What do I really want? What sets my soul alight? What I really wanted was simplicity, freedom, and an income to live comfortably.

At this time,I really threw myself into my spiritual work, meditating daily, exercising, getting my finances in order, spending time in the forest, letting go of stress and worry. I had read the Tao Te Ching a few years before, and decided to revisit it. I worked on putting key Taoist principles to work, especially Wu Wei (the art of non-action, I'll write a separate blog on that) and to cut a long story short, I ended up building a better life for myself and my family.

When you let go, when you stop holding on to your egos wants and needs, through fear, and trust the process, you really can achieve what your heart desires. How often have you chased that girl for a date and she keeps saying no? You're pushing her away by holding on too tight. Or you wanted total control over a situation only to realise that you don't have any? Stand in your power, let go, need nothing, then everything will come....trust me. We are slaves to our ego's. 'What will they think if I become a ballet dancer"? Who cares what they think, do what makes you happy and realease the tight grip of your ego.

It's ok to have goals, but don't focus too hard on how you're going to achieve them, and don't dwell on them or emit and energy of desperation to have them.

More to come.... S